There is a meme circulating amongst college students and leftists which proposes that purportedly conservative TV News Channels have created a persistent sense of fear and insecurity in American citizens. The Fox News Channel is almost exclusively blamed for this, although a minority of extremists believe that the media in general shoulders the blame. The reasoning for this conspiracy is as follows: by persistently reporting about Islamic terrorism, the “conservative” media encourages people to feel threatened and this creates out-group hostility (in laymen’s terms, an us-versus-them mentality.) Furthermore, it is alleged that this is done intentionally by “conservative media” to advance the “conservative agenda.” As most people realize by this point, the idea that a “conservative media” or “conservative agenda” exist is extremely absurd, but to finally put this ludicrous conspiracy to rest, Citizens United For Democracy conducted a study to disprove this.
The psychiatric community has reported an increase in the amount of diagnoses for anxiety disorders, but the leftist’s naïve hypothesis about the reason for this increase is completely wrong. The agent responsible for this abnormal amount of anxiety in American society is not the News media, but the United States Forest Service. Since early childhood, the phrase “Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires” has been masterfully drilled into our skull and fastened directly to our unconscious mind.
The amiable Smokey Bear brought their irrational message to us. An inoffensive cartoon character that children would easily become fond of and listen to. The best time to begin brainwashing is at a young age, when the mind is unconditioned and malleable. Imprinting the psyche in this way ensures the harmful message stays with the subject into adulthood.
Forest fires are not rare occurrences and are usually caused by non-human factors, such as lightning or falling satellites. By burdening every individual with the responsibility of preventing forest fires, the United States Forest Service unconsciously creates an irrational feeling of guilt and anxiety every time there happens to be a forest fire. This also creates a constant fear of forest fires, which the individual feels is his or her lone responsibility to prevent.
To test this hypothesis we recruited fifty-three subjects living within Chicago. Twenty-three of these subjects watched videos produced by the United States Forest Service and the other thirty subjects watched Bugs Bunny cartoons. The subjects were then analyzed for anxiety eight weeks later using two forms of testing: galvanic skin response and saliva levels of cortisol. As expected, the subjects that had watched the Treehugger’s videos had a higher base galvanic skin response and higher levels of saliva cortisol. It would appear that watching videos produced by the United States Forest Service causes an increase of anxiety. (To view this study in full, please contact Dr. Marvin Sol.)
It should be clear to any illuminated individual that the United States Forest Service is nothing more than a liberal propaganda shop. By keeping us afraid, it makes us masochistically dependent on the State for protection. A nation on Xanax is not a nation that can rationally choose its leaders. This can explain why a majority of Americans were willing to vote for the socialist Barack Hussein Obama, without even blinking.
