Issues
Below are issues that Citizens United For Democracy is working to resolve for the betterment of the United States of America.
Nepeta cataria
Online vendors and headshops have been selling Nepeta cataria by advertising it as a legal substitute for marijuana. Currently, this plant is not regulated by the federal government or any states. Like other illicit substances, Nepeta cataria needs to be scheduled as a controlled substance so that Americans can be protected from the dangers of this drug; especially considering that there is nothing preventing minors from acquiring and using Nepeta cataria. Minors are particularly at risk because of the morally degrading influence of hip-hop music, which glorifies the use of Nepeta cataria, but minors are not the only ones that need protection.
School Lunch Programs
These programs are a form of totalitarian socialism. The state should not have any ownership of the lucrative school lunch industry. This type of malignant socialism threatens the classical freedoms of the American economy. The government must heal this festering sore by abolishing these dangerously un-American programs.
Marxist Pants
Among the evils that Americans encounter during their daily lives, there is no doubt that Marxist Pants are one of the most common – but also one of the most subtle. We are forced to be a witness to this horrid abomination every time we venture to our local shopping mall, every time we visit a college campus, every time we turn on our television, and for some of us, every time our child comes home from school – it can only be escaped through a life of monastic solitude. This problem has become so pervasive that it is threatening the very foundation of the American Way of Life. These pants were created for the specific purpose of causing a proletariat revolution. Like typical fellow travelers, the corporations supporting the Marxist Pants revolution are not aware of the devastating consequences of their own fashionable goods. Companies that produce and distribute Marxist Pants and Skirts must receive a powerful message that Patriotic Americans will not tolerate their masochistically leftist antics.
United States Forest Service
This bureaucratic organization is a haven for socialists, communists, and similar ilk. Ever since its creation in 1905, the United States Forest Service has functioned as an institutional weapon against the American Way of Life. The USFS has engaged in nefarious tactics to prevent free-market capitalism from developing and flourishing within national forests and parks. As President Dwight D. Eisenhower said, the United States Forest Service is “federal domination of the people through federal domination of natural resources.”
The War on Christmas
The display of nativity scenes in public buildings is fundamental to the practice of Christianity. Other issues in the Bible may be open to dispute, such as whether or not Democrats go to heaven, but it is clear that Jesus commanded his followers to obstinately construct scenes of his own immaculate birth. This practice is integral to the practice of Christianity itself. Year after year, those infected with the liberal pathology seek to disrupt those called to perform this divine duty, citing the false doctrine of “the separation of church and state.” Send letters to Congress demanding they sponsor the Defense of Christmas Act.
Same-Sex Marriage
There are many threats to the family in American, but none so potentially destructive as same-sex marriages. Families are so weakly bonded together that the act of two people that are possibly hundreds of miles away can utterly destroy them. Same-sex marriages act like mass in Einstein’s Theory of Relativity; mass warps the fabric of the cosmos and same-sex marriages warp the fertile ground upon which our families are grown. This allows for same-sex marriages to have extremely profound effects upon God-approved heterosexual marriages, even though there is no discernible causal connection between the two. As the family is the most important unit of people in society, it is important for the tradition of marriage to be protected. If the family is further weakened or destroyed, the American Way of Life will not be able to function properly to the detriment of every Real American.
